Morning world,

Well I havent updated now for almost a week. There has been way too much happening in my life for my wee little mind to handle. It is starting to catch up to me. Im not sleeping well at all. If I am lucky, I will sleep 4 hours straight.. and that has been about all I get at one shot.. I am starting to become a zombie to life.

My Birthday - Ohh.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE!!... whopee.. nothing special happened.. I had my kids here at my place, but we didnt do a darn thing...oh wait.. I did have Chuck go out and get me McDonalds.. that was the extent of my celebration..

Christmas - MERRY ****** Christmas !!!.. BAH-HUMBUG! It snowed all day.. In a sense I am glad I didnt have to work..I spent most of this day depressed laying in bed... even if I wanted to.. My heart was soo missing my family...Mom & Gramps...& of course Uncle Don...There are times like this when I WISH I could just pick up the phone and call them...I got a nice coat & a Microsoft Zune from my grandparents & a dolphin pin from my boys... all thise gifts were also my birthday presents... that was my big christmas...I was able to get each kid 1 present.. made my heart feel like crap tho.. giod I HATE the holidays.

Wednesday I returned back to work.. I was in a great deal of pain most of the day..the pain was  in my back from the accident...After work, I went home & picked up Chuck & then we headed to the other side of town for my chiropractor.. he dropped me off there while he went and picked up his check from his work. While at the chiropractor, we went over my X-Rays and then I had some heat/laser therapy, an adjustment by hand & one by the computer & we discussed my treatment plan.

Thursday - I had to work noon to 6pm. Was horrible cuz once again it snowed all day... a very depressing kinda day. Work was extremely boring as there really wasnt anyone there.

Friday - I spent all morning working on trying to get a rental car...I am $150 short of the deposit... no one I knew either had a credit card I could use, or had the money for me to borrow... I tried to get a payday loan, but I was denied for some top secret reason that I am not priviliged to know...Was an hour late to work with trying to get a payday loan for the deposit....Worked 1p - 6p... once again very boring as not many people were working.. although, there were more people there today than Thursday.. I am SOO looking forward for my day off tomorrow!!

Saturday - WHOO HOO MY DAY OFF !!.. umm.. I'm not really able to sleep - UGH!! too much on my mind once again... Chuck & I talked a bit about him leaving to Nevada last night.... He was in a hurry to get his buddy his resume.. I got it for him & then he was a bit disapointed that it was not updated... his loss! He was the one that did not keep it updated... and HELL IF I'M going to update it for him!! He can do it himself...I told him that if he does things the way Brad tells him to, then he is not going to be a bit concerned about my well being...As I KNOW Brad is not one bit concerned about me.. only himself.. he always has been this way...so selfish...and now he is getting Chuck to be the same way.. Im so hurt by this I cant not put it into words...Chuck is in no way ready to move to Nevada.. but yet he talks about it like he is moving there next week - UGH!!!

All this going on Trying to get things done dealing with the accident,getting disapointed that NOTHING is going right, getting my heart broken over & over agian....It is wearing on me... I am scheduled to work Sunday from 7a - 3p. I am working the console... Its ok... but now my days off are split up and Im so stressed out I can not explain.. I dont hardly sleep anymore.. even with taking pills.. they do NOT help... not like they use to - DAMMIT!!!

I am trying to get ahold of a guy that is selling a Chocolate phone..I decided to buy it to try and counter act all my negative fellings Ive had this week...I took my last $100 out of my bank... and Chuck gave me $20 to put towards it... I got out of bed after he left for work only to find out he took the $20 back.. yet ANOTHER disapointment from him.. he is not even living up to his word as to helping me get SOMETHING for christmas.. god dammit.. fuck him anymore!! Fuck Christmas and all the reindeers it came in with!!THIS is why I HATE christmas.. NOTHING good about the dam day.... NOTHING but heartache & Heartbreak.... fuck life....

So.. ya... life is wearing on me... b4 too much longer I will be a zombie.... what a way to bring in the new year....Fuck that too... Im not celebrating it one bit...Well Im off to surf the internet ..

Bright blessings

Kitty

And that is exactly what I'm now trying to do... Get back on track with my life as to the way it was b4 I got hit.

Today I met up with a Lawyer.. a pretty good one... he said I have an good case..So we will see what happens with this case. His pay is 1/3 of whatever I get..he is on contingency...

He referred me to a chiropractor..Dr. Swanson... this is a walk in clinic, so no appointment is necessary... So I decided to get started with this right away so I can see what my future holds for my job.. weither I would go back to work tomorrow or Next week....

I went to my first visit this afternoon... They took X-rays of my lower back, gave me some lazor therapy, and then did an adjustment on my back by computer.  We made a tennative appointment for Sunday or Monday for me to get some  more lasor therapy as well as another adjustment... then I wilkl return Wednesday Morning to see the results of the X-rays & to see where we are going to go from there... I am hoping to get back to work on Wednesday...

Today going to the Chiropractor was the first time I had driven my car since I had gotten hit.. I had lots and lots of flashbacks for the impact... the jolt... the sound....I was scared to be driving.. and am driving very very cautiousley..

I am told the flashbacks will go away in time.. I sure hope it is sooner than later... I also hope I get the money out of my car so I can go get another one soon. When I was driving my car. I kept getting exhaust in the car.. made me a little sick & gave me a bit of a headache...bleah!

Tomorrow after Chuck gets home, I plan on using his car to go get my boys. I just got off the phne with my Ex & told him I would be down there ( Castle Rock) around 2:30pm or so.... I would leave here around 2.. he was wanting to take the boys x-mas shopping for gifts...for them to buy other people... so I look forward to gettting them a little earlier than I thought I would.

Well I have done enough blogging for the evening... trying to catch up on this week lol I will close this for now & will write more soon....

Bright Blessings

Kitty

So now I have made it to Monday... Im sick with pneumonia... but Im not really feeling all that "sick"... a little hacking... still a little pain in my back... but the weather is suppose to be nice and I wanted to get out in it a bit.... just for a quick errand...The gal said she would be available till 2pm.... so I thought I would leave a little after 12:30... get there about 1:00 or so... she lives about 20 minute drive from me....

I left when I wanted to....I was going to take Kipling North. as she lived off 80th and Kipling. I got to 10th ave... turned West... for those that dont know.. 10th ave ends at Kipling.. there is a stop sign...You have to turn left or right on Kipling... I stopped ... then I proceeded to turn right.. right as I was turning onto Kipling..BAM!!!!!!!...I looked up...in my rear mirror... my back window was busted out...I was just hit froim behind!.. all of the sudden I started panicking....the guy that hit me was very nice... very reassuring...but I wouldnt listen to him...I called Chuck.... I called the police....I called Rob... then waited for everyone to show up.... I did have Tiny with me.... she was actually in the seat with me when I got hit.... thankfully my car doesnt have airbags...she was ok...

I moved my car back so I was out of the trafffic on Kipling street....Chuck showed up... then the cops showed up..... The cop called an ambulance for me as I was unsure if I was hurt or not but wanted to play it safe....no visible injuries, but my neck hurt (upper) as well as my middle to lower back..

I was taken to the same ER I was just released from the day before...this time though I had a REAL room... and from what I heard.. I was dam lucky to have it too...this day they were busy,busy,busy... they had people lined up in the halls on stretchers..

Once again I was in alot of pain...was quite a wait till they gave me a shot of morphine .... but that helped a bit.....back to taking more x-rays... forst they needed to do my neck....they took a few,but couldnt get the view they wanted, so they had to send me to get a CT scan...I had to have that b4 they took x-rays of my lower back...

So after getting the CT scan completed, I went back to the room and waited.....and waited......they cleared my neck, so I was FINALLY able to get the neck brace off...so I waited & waited some more....still in pain....

4 hours later I went back to get my lower back X-rayed... the gal there was pretty cool... got my lower back X-rayed and back to the room I went to wait some more....

It was about 7pm by the time they were ready to release me...another whole day at the ER.....I didnt get any meds when I was released cuz I just got a whole bottle of pain killers the day b4... so I left to relax at home..

And that is exactly what I did for the next 2 days... Tuesday and Wednesday I took pain meds and pretty much just moped around the house in a groggy state of mind....

Wow.. it's already been a whole week since I last posted...it seems like a month...so much crap happened latley... I tried to post an update, but I think I goofed and hit cancel instead of preview....OOPS! lol! So here I go again.....

I have been getting through the loss of my guinea pig... only by having WORSE happen to me...*UGH!*...Sunday my back felt like it was swollen... I was drained of energy...and my back was sore to the touch... Only thing i was thinking it could be was pneumonia.... so when Chuck got off work Sunday morning, he took me to the ER @ Lutherian... when we got there they didnt seem that busy... good I thought...." maybe I can be in & out in a decent amount of time"....Thinking this because poor Chuck had been up since 3pm the day before....

We waited about an hour in the waiting room... Chuck decided to go out to his car... to lay down a bit on the back seat...... about 5 minutes after he walked out the door, they called me back....Chuck wanted me to call him when they called me back, but I felt that it was cool outside, and if he could get at least a few minutes of rest, then let him... I figured I wasnt going anywhere fast.....

The doc saw me and said they would give me a neb,some antibiotics,prednizone,and some pain killers, and send me to X-Ray and he will see how Im doing after that.....

Chuck returned and stayed with me...I was in quite a bit of pain... I went to X-Ray ... then back to my make-shift room.... laid around and waited..... we heard "Core Zero" called.... we heard " chest trauma"......" Stroke"....Gee... this is going to be a loooong day.........emergency after emergency.......and here I thought I was bad??!!.....The nurse kept stopping by every once and awhile to see if the doc had stopped in to let me know the results of the x-rays.....each time the answer would be "no"....

FINALLY around 2pm I got released and was diagnosed with pneumonia....lots of water & rest...oh ya... and pills,pills, & more pills....

.I was starving by this time, so Chuck & I stopped @ wal-mart.. I would stop in @ McDonalds while he dropped off my perscriptions...... I got my food and he told me that the pharmacy was closing for lunch... so he would drop me off at home and return to get my pills filled....

He finally got home to relax at like 6pm... Poor WONDERFUL GUY!!! This why I love him so much... I will miss him alot when we split up...maybe we will get back together... will have to see....

Well while I was relaxing I surfed Craigslist....I saw a cute cart on wheels....I emailed about it... it was only $5.. I figured... what the heck.. So I made plans to get it on Monday...

UGH!! Freaking men suck!!! I just looked at my husbands MYSPACE and know what I found????? He says he is DIVORCED already!!!!... I can't beleive he wrote that... It really breaks my heart that it seems like he is moving on from me already and we havent even separated yet!! UGH!! I will NEVER EVER marry again!!! It freaking hurts when the person you love so much is claiming that he is divorced when we havent even separated yet!..

Ok My rant is done for the night.. I have to work in the morning so I am heading to bed...

Bright Blessings

Kitty